“Always More Than One Way”

There is always more than one way, it’s true and this is a statement I’m often saying. Not only is it a great parenting tool but a great reminder. On a side note, I’ve been informed my abuser had narcissistic tendencies, and the terms “always”, “never”, and “just”… or other absolute terms were often used. I became aware of those terms and opted to avoid using them. However — it is true there is ALWAYS more than one way. So this “Always” will need to slide.

In a recent park walk, I noticed the very dry, brittle branches and twigs on the trees. At the time of writing this, it is wintertime, and the lack of greenery is dearly missed.

Pausing to study the rhythm and flow, the sticks grew in any direction, lumps, and all. No one tells the sticks to grow. Can you imagine? An inner fiber foreman saying: “Okay, row 128 facing north will mark 3 meters. Then sticks will grow at 10 cm left, 5 cm left, 7 cm right…”

No, not the case. The sticks grow as the plant receives enough nutrients, water, and sunlight. In any direction, it will grow. Generally closer to the sun. Think sunflowers – “Hello sun we love you!”

This same principle is true for us – for all of humanity.

We are each special, unique, different.

We don’t need to follow strict protocols on how to grow, we just need to grow.

Parents don’t tell their children “Okay you are now 3 years, 2 months, and 5 days today we are going to learn how to brush your teeth alone. Lesson one and done.” Uh, no. Sorry to disappoint, but a child needs continual help and reminding, guidance, and cheering on.

Children are Great Examples

My child loves maths and counting so one day I held up both my hands, with thumbs tucked in, and asked: What number is this?

Pausing the reply was: 8!

Next, I kept one hand to show 5 and the other hand to show 3. I asked again: What number is this?

After a brief pause, the reply 8!

The next thing surprised me.

“But Mummy you need to do it like this…”

You see, children are taught A WAY, a method that sticks, that makes sense. But this does not have to be the ONLY WAY. I kept at it to show my child various ways to make the number 8, away from how the teacher shows. Not saying the teacher is wrong, but rather to help expand perspective, understanding, curiosity, and development.

Because there’s always more than one way!

In the adult world, we fend for ourselves, and we need to realize there is always another way to do something!

Don’t get stuck in the same old patterns. Reinvent yourself by altering what you normally do.